As humans we have a tendency to conserve our resources, material and emotional, as if there is a limited amount of both.

But in regard to emotions in relationships, what are we saving them for?

Do we think we'll run out? Do we keep them on hand for the day we become expert, infallible expressers? Do we want to make sure we have as much as the other guy? Do we wait until someone else expresses their emotions before we're willing to express ours? Do we think suppressing them and not expressing them will ensure we never have to go without? Do we save them for the ever elusive rainy day? Do we think stockpiling them like gold or silver insulates us from emotional drought? What IS THAT?!

Have you ever been the first one to express your emotions and then had your partner respond by doing the same? It doesn't seem to matter which emotion it is. It could be love, frustration, joy, anger or boredom. Once someone one lets go, others are free to do the same.

When this happened did you notice if your emotional reserve was depleted or fortified?  Was there more intimacy and freedom or less? 

We spend a lot of energy worrying about HOW to express ourselves. We want, after all, to be appropriate and not hurt anyone. But what if not expressing ourselves because we're afraid of being inappropriate hurts us?

EXPERIMENT: Just for the next 24 hours, ask yourself if there is something you would like to express. Then ask yourself what you're saving those emotions for. Then tell 'em how you feel. You could start with someone close to you or the grocery clerk. It doesn't matter. Notice what happens, if anything. Share with us if you like.